Revolution Song

The voices in my head won’t shut up
I’m afraid to wake up.
My world is a padded cell
and I can feel my heart
banging on the walls.
Who knows how long I’ve been
here.
The air is getting heavy and
I don’t know if I’m ready
to take deep breaths.
It feels like death every time
my mind overlaps
Deja-vu showing you
over and over as I search
over and over as I search
for cover in the fallout
of peace.
I can’t find a reason
with the silence surrounding me
No reason to hold on
freefalling in sanity
My body longs to move again
Rhythmically pushing the innocence aside.
Opening myself back up
To help me remember why I exist.
I used to want to slit my wrists
But never had the courage to press down

When’s the last time I was
real?
did I ever feel?
Did you know that when I took that pill,
It was the only time I ever
killed myself.
I’m still searching for my grave
too brave to give up.
An occupied nation,
I’ll never be the same.
My history erased
when I faced a line unafraid.
I want to fear
Be queer
and quiver at night from
not getting it right.
I don’t want to sleep alone.
I want to make my home
inside someone else.
I don’t care if that makes me
weak.
I’m tired of hearing you
speak of what I am supposed to be
I’m me and no one
can take that
and make it
something else.
I feel productive when I’m self-destructive
And break things just to hear them shatter.
Nothing’s the matter
I’m just ready for my pen
to tell the truth.
To begin over
To sell myself for what it’s worth.
A rebirth.
There’s a time for owning up to one’s flaws
And this is mine.